All of the Stars (cover)

March 28, 2015 - Leave a Response
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Candor and Tattooing

March 21, 2015 - One Response

I’ve been thinking for a while about getting a tattoo. Something small but visible to me, and that has significant meaning in my life. I’ve started drawing it on my wrist again like I did in high school, using this as a test of whether it has become a part of me yet.

Last night I saw Insurgent, and as I was standing in the shower washing away my current “test”, I had a thought. I looked at my clean wrist and wondered whether I would rather travel through life as I am, unmarked. But none of us are truly unmarked. We carry physical scars, pockmarks and slices of wounds now past. Even deeper, we carry marks from every experience we’ve ever had. Every happy memory, every fight, every night alone crying. Why should I be afraid to pull those from the depths to something I can actually see and hold onto?

It was in the midst of this process that I realized, in the world of Divergent, I don’t think Dauntless would be the only faction to practice the art of tattooing. I could see it being heavily utilized in Candor, where individuals value honesty and showing one’s true self. What better way to do that than to pull your deepest marks from within and proudly show them for the world to see?

I believe Candor would appreciate the raw truth that comes through the process.

What do you think?

NaCreSoMo Day 3 

March 11, 2015 - One Response

There is something about being 25 that I can’t explain. One moment it’s a celebration, a realization that you’ve truly entered adulthood and are on your way to success. 5 years until kids, no problem. Two feet secure on the ground. 

Two months later, shattered and weeping in a queen bed once too small for two, now an ocean for one. You stack books and clothes and blankets on the other side, unconsciously creating an illusion of companionship in the dark. When you roll over, the sharp pain from a bound corner reminds you that the warm body of company is sleeping soundly in the room next door. 

You busy yourself and find that it’s easy until returning home to find him cooking in the kitchen. You reach out to hold him, busy at the stove, before remembering that touch is poisonous. You separate what was once shared, find names in sharpie written on items from when one was two. 

You cry. You find ways to cope that aren’t really coping but are the best you have. You realize that some bad habits truly die hard and that somewhere inside is that lonely little girl from high school who was suicidal but too afraid of death to try. You stare into the lights of the city and wonder whether 25 is really any closer to God than 15. 

You think of all the things you wish he would say. Everything you want to hear that you never will, just like last time. Apologies that will never come, reminders that this happened before and six years later there is still a hole that will never be fully repaired. Still a box in the attic with pictures and books and notes you know you should throw out but somehow still hold a piece of you locked away. Worry that it will happen again, that there is a slice of this still beating heart that will never return from this experiment in love. 

Resign yourself to trying because that is all that is ever left. Hope that somewhere out there, a perfect shoe sits on a shelf and you’ll be lucky enough to find it. That maybe this time it won’t take another 6 years, another broken heart, another box in the attic, another unspoken apology to find it. 

25 is no longer a gift, but a warning. A fear of choices, a fear of time running out. Love or love of career, travel or staying put, single motherhood or letting precious time slip through your fingers. 25 is a curse. It is blessed darkness. And then you realize that 25 is just a repeat of 15, Amanorenya. 

NaCreSoMo Day 2: Why do I have two pages?

March 11, 2015 - Leave a Response

https://womanlostandfound.wordpress.com/2014/09/27/tha-mo-ghaol-air-aird-a-chuain-by-julie-fowlis-kris-drever-iain-macdonald/

I made a separate blog once for things that were less personal, and now I don’t know what to do with the fact I have to.

Today I’d like to share this little project that’s in the works. I’m putting together links of the scots gaelic in this song so I can hopefully learn to pronounce it better.

I’d also love some feedback on what I should do about my two blogs.

NaCreSoMo Day 1

March 9, 2015 - 2 Responses

Sailor Jupiter Sketch

March 17, 2014 - One Response

Yesterday I worked on another sketch, using my artbooks as a reference. I spent considerably more time on this than the last one, and I actually want to try and finish and colour it sometime.

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NaCreSoMo Day 2

March 5, 2014 - 4 Responses

For NaCreSoMo Day 2, I’ve recorded a cover of Vienna Teng’s “Blue Caravan”. I love this song, and it’s one of the few I can accompany myself on guitar without making too many mistakes.

NaCreSoMo Day 1

March 4, 2014 - 3 Responses

It’s that time of the year again – NaCreSoMo! It stands for “National Create Something Month”. My friends invited me to join them last year in this month-long journey of creativity, and this is year two.

It’s hard to find time to do creative things (and record them!), especially while working full time and pretty much wanting to play video games and sleep at the end of the day. This is why I’m only on day one and it’s already March 5th.

Today I present a very shoddy sketch based off of something in one of my Sailor Moon art books. It’s been forever since I’ve drawn anything, and as you can see my skills have deteriorated significantly. I keep putting off drawing because I’ve gotten worse, and I get worse because I’m not drawing. So here.

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Day 5: Suteki Da Ne

March 31, 2013 - One Response

Today’s finished product is my cover of Suteki Da Ne, set to its corresponding Final Fantasy X cutscene. The full song is on my soundcloud, but I wanted to cut it down to match the scene from the game.

Day 4: Stopping by the woods on a snowy evening

March 28, 2013 - 2 Responses

I’ve been pretty terrible about doing something daily (or at least posting it here), but on Tuesday I wrote some random lyrics that I thought I’d share. I’m not at all happy with the current “chorus” but I’m sure I can improve upon it greatly when I come back to it sometime.

Dusk falls upon a snowy evening

Headlights searching for answers in the dark

Winds carrying whispers beyond the trees

Lovers finding shelter in a nearby park

 

Hands fumbling in the darkness for companions

Televisions repeating insomniac dreams

Sleepy towns retreating, cities still screaming

Slender crescent moonlight beams

 

Hold me close in the night, my dear

Shelter me from the icy winter’s chill

Be my candle in the night, my watcher on the wall

Only you can take away my fear